The one with the stuff...

Here’s some of the stuff that is jingling around in my head (usually it rattles, but ya’ll, I have a patio now and all I can hear is the sweet jingle jangle of wine glasses on the patio furniture).

There are Christmas decorations in Walmart. Did you read that? CHRISTMAS! I feel so sorry for the kids who have moms like me (were I a mom) who are a little slow and would wait until October to buy their costume and then the poor kid would have to go as Santa. Oh, and that red nose strewn carelessly on the shelf, is that for a halloween clown costume or rudolf?

I have a patio! I know many of you are thinking "so what, who cares about a slab of concrete in your backyard", but let me assure you that once you read the story, you will have tears of joy in your eyes that I have a patio. OK, maybe not, but I sure as hell did.

It is almost October and it was 90 freaking degrees here this weekend! I need my cool crisp fall weather! I look out my window and it looks kind of fallish, the air just looks crisp and it’s sunny and my brain is going "Oh look at that crisp air, you’re going to walk outside and smell autumn and it’s going to be great and maybe you need a sweater tonight", then I walk outside and melt, literally, into a gob of goo that can’t function. Hey Mother Nature, could you please stop it with the partying and get on with some normality PLEASE?

The dog has a new toy. A stuffed duck which he flings around and chases and sleeps with his paw on it just in case I wanted to get the duck and serve it for dinner. It is HIS duck, and not for human consumption.

Speaking of human consumption - do you know how much easier it would be to maintain your current weight, or lose weight and save money and time cooking if we just ate dog food? Not the overprocessed ones, but there’s a bunch out there that are all natural and have tons of veggies, grains and meats. I’m thinking a little onion salt and/or garlic and it’d be good to go. I’m just sayin...