So my dog has a new name...Fucktard McFuckerson. He earned his new name by going above and beyond normal fucker standards. Here is our day yesterday:
3 a.m.- Hear some funny rattling noise, get up just in time to see the dog lifting his leg on the couch. Luckily caught him before he could relieve himself. We go outside where he does his business and go back to bed. - Bad Dog
6:30 a.m. - The whole running away debacle making me look like an idiot. - Ass Hole
7:00 a.m. - goes into his room a/k/a the bathroom curls up and goes to sleep in his bed looking all sweet. I leave for work.
9:00 a.m. - Chris comes home, dog is released from the bathroom for potty trips and some good petting and monster attacking.
12:00 p.m. - dog is put back in his room where he curls up and goes right back up to sleep. Chris leaves for class.
3:45 p.m. - Chris returns, dog is taken out for potty break.
4:00 p.m. - Runs away from Chris who actually chases him but he runs so fast he gets away and then sits by the peeing bush and looks at Chris like he’s stupid as he walks by calling the dogs name. - Fucker
4:15 p.m. - is put out on the porch as punishment for running away. A nice punishment because it was gorgeous outside and there were lizards to chase.
4:45 p.m. - let back in the house.
5:00 p.m. - stands on top of, crushes and eats my straw cowboy hat that I look darn cute in. - Fuckface
5:15 p.m. - is placed in crate for punishment and left there while we go to dinner and run errands. Said errands took longer than we planned and we felt bad about leaving him in the crate for so long. He did have food and water and he is crate trained so it's not that bad...
9:15 p.m. - return home and talk sweetly to the dog as we walk through the door only to hear him jump OFF. OUR. BED. and run down the hall as he had somehow escaped the crate after we left - Fucktard McFuckerson
So far today he is living up to his name as he found the cowboy hat and made sure that he put a hole in it this time. I'm checking into military schools as soon as I post this.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
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2 comments:
Yeah, that's definitely a Bad Dog. Too bad you guys are already hooked...our animals know that they can get away with murder here too because we are wrapped around their little paws. But look at the funny story it made for your blog!
Oh yeah, we're totally hooked. He's got us wrapped around his furry little frito smelling paw and one look from those big eyes melts us. Spoiled little brat is all he is.
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