Peg leg

My foot is going to fall off, maybe even my leg. You see, there was the group of gypsy ants. I call them gypsies because today when I went back to the scene of the crime, they were gone. Not sayin that gypsies flee crime scenes just that this group of ants is apparently migratory.

I digress, I rolled the garbage can out to the street after work yesterday and when I looked down there appeared to be a little dirt on my foot and sandal, so I figured I’d brush it off once I got the can situated. The dirt started burning and crawling. In case you aren’t following, it was ants, not dirt. I proceeded to do a little dance on the sidewalk outside my office during 5 O’clock traffic - I’m sure it was very amusing - to get said ants off of my foot and sandal. They still managed to bite me about 5 times, two of which are in between my toes, one oozes every time I walk and is a lovely crispy orange color right now, another one is a little further down on the side of my foot and is actually behaving, it is the last one that is the cause for the falling off of the foot. It was white and very itchy so I thought I’d make it an oozy one too and pop it. I put my foot on my desk and proceeded to pinch with my nails, sure that it was going to squirt out and hit something. It didn’t. Instead it filled with blood. I have now introduced BLOOD from a BLOOD VESSEL to the ant poison which means that it will go all through my body and rot my foot and possibly my leg. My husband is not concerned I called to inform him of the situation that very well may require men in biohazard suits to remove my foot and he asked if I could get some bread at the store. When I continued my plight he asked what time I was leaving work to go get said bread. I think I shall bludgeon him with my rotten foot when it does decide to fall off. Isn’t bludgeon a fun word?

Oh, you want more fun tales of home ownership? Here’s one about my unconcerned about feet rotting husband. He decided that the grass had some weeds and needs some food so he bought something called "Weed and Feed". (Personally this sounds like something that would make weeds grow since you’re feeding them and all - but I guess weeds don’t like the food, maybe it's like liver to them or something) Anyway, he didn’t have a spreader so he decided to do it by hand straight out of the bag...the bag that had a hole in it and spilled out. There is a nice little trail of dead grass around our front yard now with large areas where he stopped and too much came out - in places there is actually a line as he walked from one spot to the other. It looks great. I’ll try to have pictures this week if I can find where the camera got packed.