Skiing

You might recall that I mentioned that I’ll be going on my first ever skiing / snowboarding expedition soon (1 week from tomorrow!) and I thought I’d share with you the gravity of the situation. I am going with a group of 10 other people and I am certain that I am the least coordinated of the group so I’ve already resigned myself to be the one that gets laughed at because she ends up at the bottom in a big tangle rolled up in a ball of snow a la the bugs bunny cartoons. I figure it’s really bad when you actually consider snowboarding because there is a whole lot less* chance of your legs getting tangled up together although with a snowboard you don’t have as much mobility and I’m not completely sure this is a bad thing. I am going to work on some yoga moves between now and then that will make any bending I do on the slopes just seem like a normal warrior pose.

The more experienced of the group enjoy snowboarding and when I mentioned that I might try snowboarding they kept saying how you had to fall harder on the snowboard and that it hurts your butt, well ya’ll, I’ve got padding back there. I am not afraid of bouncing off a little snow on my ass. That actually sounds like a normal snow day for me.

The more experienced of the group think I should maybe ski because there’s more movement and it’s easier to control yourself as you plummet down the mountain on slippery sticks. I think this is a recipe for disaster. If there’s a way to get tangled, to fall in the most random way, I will do it.

Thank GOD the house we’re renting for the weekend has a hot tub and we’ll be providing the alcohol because nothing numbs the pain of looking like an idiot on the slopes like a nice hot soak and a little vodka. I also know that I will win the biggest nastiest bruise contest. I’ve got that one in the bag.