Update

OK, so I haven't measured any of my body parts - not even for that last post, but I have weighed and...drumroll please...

I'm down 5 lbs!

Of course the scale at the doctor was messed up week before last and said I was down 10lbs from my weight the night before but if I took that measurement I'd have to then claim that I gained 5.

Bonnie has suggested a competition, and I'm game but I need to know what's in it for me? The satisfaction of losing weight just isn't enough...or I'd be a whole lot skinnier than I am now. :)

Here we go again...

OK.

I'm going to lose weight.

No really. I am. And YOU are going to help me by keeping me motivated because I have to post my results here. So here are my starting stats and I'll post the amount of change each week...

Weight: Some lbs
Thighs: some
Butt: some more
Arms: less than butt

As a start I ran/walked 3 miles today because I was sitting in the backyard and got sick of looking at my fat. So here we go again...

Frog E Mama

Hey ya'll...

I don't really post here anymore...if you haven't noticed so if you'd like to read the regularly updated blog, leave me a comment and I'll send you an invite.

U.S. Olympic Men = HOT!

I have an olympic size crush on several of the US Olympic men. I have been watching more Olympics this year than I ever have and I just don't remember the guys being this HOT! The entire gymnastics team is so cute...especially Jonathan Horton. He is just way too cute! I want to just gobble him up. Usually there's one I think could possibly be cute in the right light, but not this year. This year they are all dateable. That is if they would want to date a married mother who is not back to pre-baby shape. Oh, and if Chris would agree to let me date 6 other men. Somehow I think I'll just have to admire from afar.

Speaking of Olympics, last night one of the Japanese gymnasts changed his pants on world wide television in a way that was so admirably modest that I think he should come and give lessons to all of our pop princesses. He took off the shorts from the vault and put on pants for the bars and we never even saw a glimpse of anything we shouldn't have seen. Of course, he obviously had on the little one piece thingy so we wouldn't have seen anything anyway, but if he'd been wearing panties, we wouldn't have seen them!

OK, I must go now, my men are being interviewed on The Today Show.

Girls gymnastics is tonight...I'm sure I'll have a girl crush in the morning.

Cracking myself up

OK, sometimes I crack myself up.

Sometimes I write things that I think are hilarious and people only pick up on the serious.

Honestly, I crack myself up a lot.

Today I am copping out. I wanted to post but it feels forced so I'm giving you a quote from my myspace blog...

"And now that I have gone ahead and written the word nipple twice, I feel that I must continue to type it. Nipples. Does typing nipple make this porn? Am I going to be sensored by Walmart? Is somebody putting little black stickers on their screen right now over my "nipples"?"

CRASH!

Today I feel like I have hit a brick wall. Last week was filled with laughter, sarcasm, food, family, and a house full of love. Today it's Madelyn and I.

Last week my mom, dad, and sister came for a week long visit. We had a blast, running up and down the road to catch the metro and get to DC just in time to eat and take in a museum. Madelyn had new arms to go to at every little whimper of boredom and tons of people on our travels to flirt with. She loves going and seeing people, she's not so good at the down time and now daddy is in the field so we went from a house full to an empty house and we're both feeling a little empty.

I love our little family of Chris, Madelyn, Domino, and I but there is something about having my parents and sister around that just makes life feel fuller. We laugh more than sane people should and just roll with the flow of life. Even though several of our outings could have been horrible or put a real damper on the trip (a freak thunderstorm while walking to the metro, 95+ degree weather, blisters, fussy baby, and a long week for Chris), we all just bounced back and made the best of it all.

I love family and we are so blessed that we have families on both sides that love, support, and add to our own lives even though we are separated by so many miles.

*Eye roll*

I am a reality TV junky. There, I admitted it. I love the drama, the silliness, and the absolute insanity that insues when you have a bunch of random people trying to date one moderately random person or when there are 50 bazillion people who think they are talented mixed in with the 25 that actually have talent.

One thing that I hate about reality TV is that all the talent search type shows have one judge that is so obnoxious that I just want to beat the shit out of them. I just want them to shut-up already and move on. Thank GOD for DVR so that I can now fast forward through their sugar coated stupid ass cliches that don't make sense. The most obnoxious is probably Mary from SYTYCD. She uses one cliche for a couple where she calles them the hottest on the hot express or something and then the next couple blows that one away and now she has to make up a hot rocket or something similiarly idiotic. "The Hoff" on AGT is just as bad. I don't know how many people he's told that they're what this competition is all about, and have you seen him dancing along? Seriously?

I know that silliness makes for good TV, but do they have to have personilities that are going to cause me to have a seizure from all of the eyerolling?

Picture Memememe in pictures!

The rules:
a. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.

b. Using only the first page, pick an image.

c. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.

1. What is your first name?

2. What is your favorite food?

3. What high school did you go to?

4. What is your favorite color?

5. Who is your celebrity crush?
6. Favorite drink?

7. Dream vacation?

8. Favorite dessert?

9. What you want to be when you grow up?

10. What do you love most in life?

11. One Word to describe you.

12. Your flickr name.

I stole this meme from Staci over at VeryPink and it was a blast! If you like it and want to do it yourself, cut and paste the information above and follow the rules.

Have fun!

Timing

I have found the ONE and ONLY time that losing a dress size is not desirable. That time is when you have purchased a dress, taken it in to have it tailored to fit you and then pick it up the day before the event only to discover that it's now "saggy" and given the style and cut of the dress can't be altered more.

Working out is going well. I haven't changed my diet at all and I'm still losing inches. The scale hasn't budged, but it's evil anyway. I now live in a consistent state of soreness and I like it. I've been having dreams about running, nightmares actually. I'm afraid it means that my body has decided it wants to run again...I don't like that prospect. Running means soreness and hurty feet.

Owie Owie Ouch!

Today was day 1 of my torture, I mean training. This is one of three workout routines my trainer is going to give me and I seriously think that they just might kill me. Today's routine started off with 5 minutes on the treadmill...SWEET! I rocked that. Then we moved to chest press...SCORE! I like that one. Then I went straight into pushups on a bosu ball...WHOA! Wait a second. I stink at pushups and you want me to turn this bubble thing upside down so it's wobbly and do them? Sure, why not. I don't need to lift my daughter for the next 4 days. Then we moved on to a little assisted pullups, bicep curls and tricep push downs. Yeah, my arms are noodles. It's amazing that I can even type this right now. The next exercise really should have taught my trainer a little something about me...I am not at all in any way shape or form graceful. I stood on a bosu ball and lifted dumbells over my head. I stood on a rubber bubble and lifted heavy (5lb) steel objects over my head. What about that sounds safe? Nothing. I fell off. Luckily we hadn't done a leg workout yet so I was able to just kind of step off of it and act like I was coordinated, but ladies and gentleman, I couldn't hold my balance to save my life.

So I hoped that would be the end of the bosu ball. He put it away and then pulled out a little step. Just a teetiney 2 inch step that looked so nice and harmless. I stood on that step and did 72 backwards lunges. I hate that step. It is evil. I am not sending it a Christmas card.

Then out came that stupid rubber bubble again, and this time I was supposed to squat with one foot on the bubble, then hop over while switching legs and squat again. Seriously? I felt ridiculous and uncoordinated and I was. I didn't fall off, but my feet never landed in the same place twice and he kept joking that it was OK for my feet to leave the ball. Yeah...right. Feet not on the ball means I might land crazy on my butt and pop that stupid rubber bubble...or bounce off of it. I'm not sure which would be more embarrassing.

So that was basically the end of my torture until he threw in some ab work, but all ab work is torture and I got to lay on the mat in a pool of my own sweat. It was hot, like sexy hot. No really, it was.

Day one down. Tomorrow I do some walking/cardio and rest this weekend and start it all over again on Monday. Wednesday I get a new workout. I'm hoping I survive until then.

Full Disclosure

Minutes of exercise = 0

Slices of pizza consumed = 3

Guilt = nada

I do plan on eating a little better than I have been during this journey to fitness, but folks, I love food. I am an eater. I like yummy, good, fattening food and I'm not willing to take that out of my life forever. I am willing to limit myself and to explore new healthier options but lets face it, I will always crave full fat pizza, a good burger, sweets, and fresh bread and I will always eat it. I will not stress myself out over food, life is too short to not eat cheese.

Frog E. Fit

So, I started this as the "life" blog and I have the "mommy blog" so now I MUST HAVE the fitness blog right? Right. Wrong. The two blogs I have are ignored enough so for the undetermined future Frog E. Luv will become Frog E. Fit wherein I will share with you my adventures in fitness. If you are afraid that you will be bored (all 3 of you that read), I promise you won't be because fitness and I have a long and tumultuous relationship wherein I have gained nothing, but I keep coming back like a fatty (myself) to icecream.



First, some disclosures. I call myself "fatty", "old fat ass", and anything else derrogatory in fun. Saying "slightly overweight and less than fit lady" just loses a little something. Please do NOT follow my fitness routine as it will involve a lot of excuses and even more justifications as to why I had to get off the elliptical 5 minutes early. If only thinking of ways out of working out burned more calories.

And now on with the show!

Today was my fitness assessment day.

The things I learned today:

I stepped on a scale and allowed the trainer to pinch my fat. This taught us that I am fat. Technically obese which horrifies and baffles me. I believe it is the percentage of body fat that actually makes the technicality and not my weight because I am not really that large a woman, I don't shop in the plus size department, I really feel that while it isn't unrealistic for me to be move to the "fair" or "fit" level, it is definitely discouraging for people who obviously need a little extra help.

I got on a bike with a heartrate monitor and pedaled until my heartrate was at a certain level for 3 minutes. This taught us that I am fat AND need help with aerobic fitness. I lasted a whopping 9 minutes and my butt hurt at the end, so add butt calluses to the list of things I need to be fit.

I sat on the floor and stretched forward and touched a number for 4 seconds. This taught us that I am inflexible and have tight hamstrings. Apparently the only muscle on my body that is tight and firm is the one that shouldn't be. Fabulous.

I stood on a square and pulled up on a bar doing a bicep curl. This taught me that I have strong arms. I am glad that I did this exercise because after carrying around a 17 lb baby in a 20 lb carrier I was afraid that I had really weak arms.

I got a printout that confirmed all of the above so that I can my fat, inflexibility, non aerobic self in black and white. You know, it's really much less fun when you have time to read the results over and over again and even with my extremely honed skills of justification, I can't change what is written.

I feel good about this. I feel good about making positive changes for my health. I feel good about blogging it. However, I'm pretty sure that trainer guy isn't going to take any crap from me and this scares me. As we finished up the assessment, he looked at me and said "You have untill 11 with the coop so how about you work out a little."

I am scared.

Why Marines shouldn't cook...

We hosted a cookout at our house this afternoon and 2 of the Marines joining us made mashed potatoes. But they didn't really make them the traditional way, more of a new-fangled Marine way where you mash the potatoes BEFORE you cook them. Yeah. The mashed the potatoes before they cooked them. Needless to say they were very interesting looking and the hear the process was very amusing, especially to me, the woman who loves to cook. The end result wasn't bad, but it was just further proof as to why Marines should not be left alone in the kitchen.

Locked out

You know how sometimes you have a door that will open from the inside and stay locked? Then you have to take out the garbage and let the dog pee at the same time so you put the dog on the leash and step outside only to discover that some critter has gotten into the garbage can and now the dog wants to track it and you shut the door? Oh, and you know how all of this happens at 8 a.m. and you are in your pajamas and barefoot and it;s 40 degrees outside? And then how you get the can to the street, the dog pulls out of his collar so you chase him down and get it back on and now your feet are cold and wet? Then you go to get back in the house and the door is locked? So now you are locked out and the 5 1/2 month old baby is locked in playing in her crib? So then you go to the basement door hoping it's open but it isn't and then you try to open the window but it doesn't open so you try to pry it open with a shovel, you know how that sometimes happens? Oh, and then you have to walk up to a neighbor barefoot and in pajamas and ask to use a phone so you can call your husband who is in an important training session so that he can come let you in the house and then you have to sit on the front stoop for 20 minutes waiting on him with a shivering dog, cold, wet bare feet in your pajamas (gaucho pants and T-shirt) listening to your baby who is now bored with her mobile cry?

You know how sometimes that happens?

Yeah, me neither.

But just in case I did know how that happens, there is now a hidden key.

Happy Easter!

Our trip to Washington DC

Today was mine and Madelyns very first time in Washington DC, it was cold, it was windy and people were rude. All people except the three young middle eastern men at the condiment counter, they were very polite.

Oh and guess what?! There's a lot of walking. A Lot. My butt hurts I walked so much. My butt was cold. My butt was so cold I put it under a hand drier to warm it up. It didn't work.

Some highlights:

Madelyn showed her butt (literally) at the base of the Washington Monument as I changed her diaper in her stroller while Mom, Dad and Chris provided cover. What? Sometimes you have to improvise.

Madelyn then ate dinner at the base of the Lincoln memorial.

We saw an albino squirrel hopping around in the grass.

The mounted patrol had absolutely gorgeous horses. Very large, beautiful horses.

I had to get rude with people on an elevator in the museum because they wanted to go down but got on the eleveator going up and then blocked us on as we wanted to be on the 2nd floor. Not only did they block us in, but they got off the elevator, realized they had gone up (the motion of the elevator didn't tip them off to where they were going) and loaded back onto the elevator before we could even move!


Conversations:

At the Smithsonian Museum of Natural History -

"To summarize what I have seen...old ass shit. I am sorry I am not interested in fossilized fish poop."

At dinner after dipping a tortilla chip in a cup of broccoli cheddar soup -

"I think I just invented a new dish!"

"Yes honey, nobody ever thought to put cheese on chips."

Lessons learned

If a shop vac comes with a piece of fabric on the inside, it should maybe stay in there just in case you are vaccuuming out the fire place and would blow ashes all over the den if that little fabric isn't there.

If you buy a can of compressed air, read to see if it has bittering agents to discourage huffing before you sit at the computer and wonder why your snack tastes like crap. You can lick a key to determine if this is the real problem. I recommend the space bar.

If the baby's belly is exposed for prime raspberries, coordinate with your spouse who is going in first so that you don't crash your heads together at 8:30 in the morning setting off a headache that will only get worse as you have to unpack more boxes.

Movin and Shakin

Greetings from Northern VA!

Adventure, schmenture. This past week we left our beautiful home in Charleston, SC and moved to Northern VA, into a 3 story townhouse. That means there are stairs, lots of stairs. We've never lived with so many stairs. I think we've each lost 10 lbs just hauling crap up and down stairs and we're not even close to being unpacked. I think we'll be settled just in time to pack it all up and move again.

Other than the stairs I really enjoy the layout of our new home. It's got a nice large kitchen and dining room, great family room and nice bedrooms for the three of us. The guest room is teetiny, barely room for the queen bed. The gentleman who lived here before us had interesting taste in decor. The walls are a silvery blue and the trim is maroon with gold switchplates. I've spent time trying to figure out why the house is painted as it is and all I can figure is that dude was a child of the 70's and one day he was sitting in the recliner and thought to himself:

"You know what this room needs? Spray painted blinds! White ones are so boring, I want my blinds to match the trim! I will paint them and it will be fabulous! Just think of how the morning sun will shine through the red blinds and make the whole room look like a bordello and it will greet me every morning on my way down to breakfast. Oh, and then I can paint the ones in my bedroom black and they will be fabulous too! Of course if I paint the blinds I will HAVE to hang a crystal chandelier at the top of the stairs. I hope the kitchen doesn't feel too boring after I make everything else so fabulous, I know, I'll hang 10 plants around and make it fabulous too! Now that I think of it, the pantry door is a little dull, maybe I should paint it silver, but not the whole thing, I'll do everything but the cut outs, yes, that's what I'll do."

Unfortunately, there is no explanation for the decor because these townhouses were built in the 90s. That means that these colors and crap weren't the style.

Say what?

An actual conversation...

"Where's Chris?"

"He's in California. A Marine that he went to Iraq with was killed in a motorcycle accident so he went out for the funeral."

"Oh, that's horrible! Is his friend OK?"

"... ... ... um, no it killed him."

Smoking crack?

I must be. It's the only logical explanation for my decision to go skiing again this year. Perhaps I'll try snowboarding after all, I didn't make any decent progress on skis last year to warrant me doing it again this year in hopes of gaining experience. I can fall off one board as easily as I can two long planks.